She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize