well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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