This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
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