eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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