I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
