Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
