So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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