Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
