She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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