I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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