the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
