I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
