why didn't you poke me back
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
