party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
