Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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