So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
