Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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