idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
