it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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