Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
