Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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