I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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