Dual....:-)
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
