and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
