After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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