He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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