dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
