I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
