haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My ATM looks so different sober.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
