Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize