why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
