First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize