after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
