dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
