I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
