I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize