Sry I called you an 8
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Acid is not a monday night drug
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
