I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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