just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She announced her abortion via fbk
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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