"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You pole danced in your parka.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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