you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
