maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
