I look better un-naked...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
