LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
