this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
