just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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