S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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