did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
