summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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