how can u be prego again
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
