Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you had me at cake vodka
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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