Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
