There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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