You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
