this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
