if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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