Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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