shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
