the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
